If our self esteem is low, we can find it very difficult to get the most out of our lives, form relationships and overcome the problems life throws at us. Self esteem problems often start in childhood, and can stay with us into our adult lives, destroying our confidence as we grow and mature. If you have children, one of the most important things you can do for them is to help them develop a healthy self esteem.
The best thing you can do to build your child’s self esteem is to show them that you love them and are proud of them. Tell them how much you love them, and regularly demonstrate this with cuddles and kisses. Spend quality time with them doing activities that they enjoy. Structure in activities that will help them to learn, and remind them afterward what new skills they are developing and how proud you are of them. Take the time to talk with them, listen and truly appreciate what they are saying. Ask them for their opinions on certain family matters and let them know that their views are taken seriously.
Children thrive on praise, and need this constantly. Praising them regularly is an important way of building their self esteem. When praising them, it is best to be specific; for example tell them how well you thought they did a particular task, and why. This will also help them to note their accomplishments. Give them little tasks to complete and praise them when they do them well, this will also help them develop confidence in their abilities. If they find certain tasks difficult, give them encouragement to try again. Don’t tell them they can’t do it; tell them you are sure they will do it next time because they are learning more all the time.
Be careful how you talk to your child, especially when you are cross with them. Avoid using words such as stupid, naughty or selfish as this will give them negative messages which can last for years. Your child may start to believe that they are stupid or naughty, and act in accordance to this belief. If you need to correct your child, be specific about why you are annoyed. Describe what they have done and exactly why this has displeased you, and tell them how you would like them to behave differently in the future.
A child with healthy self esteem becomes a well adjusted, confident adult, and by increasing your child’s self esteem you are giving them the best possible start to a life filled with happiness and achievement. Need help raising your kid self esteem? I highly recommend Self-Esteem For A Lifetime. It is a user- friendly book filled with great ideas and suggestions on raising children with high self esteem. Self-Esteem For A Lifetime: Raising A Successful Child From The Inside Out
