This is an regrettable reality of life in our society that anger is usually a major factor for unhappiness and can lead to disastrous outcomes. Regardless if you are the actual person receiving someone anger, or you are the person dishing it out, anger does nobody any good. Anyway, understanding how to cope with anger just isn’t an easy matter. Nevertheless, here are a few tips to deal with anger that I hope you will find useful.
Every day, we hear of an incident of ‘road rage’ or a school shooting. Such things were unheard of just a couple of decades ago. Now they are almost commonplace. Why has the syndrome of anger become so irrational? Is it simply a lack of discipline?
Our fast-paced and stressful environments makes everyone vulnerable to the problems anger produces. There’s no simple answer. However, there are some tips to deal with anger that you might employ to diffuse the effects.
Here’s a simple example of how to deal with anger you might encounter at the grocery store. You’re standing at the deli counter, waiting your turn. “Next, please!” You step up to place your order. Another customer decides that you’ve cut in front of them and proceeds to lay into you. “I was here first!” You need to understand that this person is venting. It has nothing to do with you. Who knows what has caused their frustration to exceed civility? Your best bet here is to let it go. Returning anger for anger leads nowhere. If you respond with, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here before me”, that frustrated person is mollified and may even feel guilty that they came off on you. Unless the two minutes it costs you to accede places you in a catastrophic bind, what’s the problem?
You can probably think of a thousand such examples. People who exhibit such irrational anger are usually frustrated individuals who feel they lack power. Confronting you offers an opportunity for them to gain a feeling of superiority. Let them have it. Maybe that simple act will alleviate some of their frustration.
In such everyday interactions, you might cajole, sympathize or make a good joke to diffuse the anger. If this method of how to deal with anger doesn’t work, just dust your feet off and leave it behind.
If you’re the one dishing out the anger, think before you speak. Sometimes the best course of action is to be quiet and take a ‘time out’ just like you recommend to your kids. Think of the consequences of mouthing off. Once you’ve said your piece, you can’t take it back.
If you are the one who doesn’t know how to deal with anger and it’s a consistent problem, consider taking an anger management course. Self help books on anger management may be another viable alternative. Do you want to be in control of your life, or help someone your love take control of their life? The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life is for you. Les Carter’s suggestions are very helpful in helping you minimize the harm to others and yourself when face with an angry episode. Dr Carter’s shows in his book what life can be like outside the anger trap.Read this book even if you do not consider yourself an angry person because it is full of wisdom. Don’t let anger control your life. If you need help or someone you know, needs help dealing with anger here are both the paperback version and the Kindle version.
The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life
