Does appearance affect self esteem? That’s a tough
question to answer and its not as simple as black and
white. There are many underlying factors involved with
how a person perceives himself or herself.
Let me go a bit deeper. Society has a standard which
is considered “beauty”. Just take a look at some of the
top fashion magazines, as well as Hollywood, for the
examples of what Society considers to be true beauty;
although, Hollywood has changed somewhat over the
past few years and began making movies where the
“average not so looking guy” would be the hero and
get the girl whereas before you had to be really good
looking to even be considered for an acting role back
in the 60′s and 70′s even as far up to the late 90′s.
At least the starring role.
Look at the Hair Club For Men ads on TV and on the
net and you will hear all the men saying that having
their hair back gave them back their self esteem and
confidence. Cause losing ones hair is not something we
consider to be “the norm”. It’s a taboo subject among a
lot of men. According to the HCFM ads, HCFM gave
them back their hair and self esteem. I have a few
friends also that are going bald and they admit to me as
well that losing ones hair, affects ones self esteem.
Is how we look really that important? Does our
appearance affect our self esteem? Or is it a superficial
thing? I teach teenagers and I tell you from first hand
experience, It does. Especially with the constant
bombardment from the media and peers, and even at
home sometimes, to always look a certain way. I have
seen that many young people are totally obsessed with
being thin. If they were not 110 pounds or 106 or 108,
they felt fat. I have experienced bulimic students and
also students on the verge of anorexia where If I didn’t
step in as a concerned individual they would probably
end up dead. All because society tells them if you don’t
look like “this or that”, you’re not beautiful. Hence the
reason plastic surgeons have such lucrative lifestyles.
They’ve got a lot of customers. Their clients are all
individuals who have a problem with the way they look
and are not happy with what they were originally born
with. I’m talking here about the ones that go in
voluntarily, not the ones who were disfigured due to an
accident or fire or anything of the sort.
I have seen kids bullied because they were not
considered pretty enough or good looking enough by
other students who were what we call “popular” in
High School circles. You know what I mean. We all
went to High School.
I don’t know if you know the show called 60 minutes
with Mike Wallace,Morley Safer and Andy Rooney.
Some years ago. I think it was in the late 80′s, they
did a test wherein they had some people who were
not so “attractive looking” and another group of people
who were stunning looking. Gorgeous so to speak.
They gave them all credentials. They gave the ones
who were not so “attractive” more qualifications on
their resumes, then sent them all to the same places
to apply for jobs. The outcome was quite interesting.
The “attractive” people were chosen over the
“less attractive” ones for the jobs even though they
had less qualifications for the job in question. Once
again this test proved that looks also play a factor
with gaining employment. Don’t get me wrong I’m not
saying if you’re good looking that you will always get
a job over someone else if you’re somewhat more
attractive, I’m just sharing with you an example of a
case study done by a reputable Investigative TV show.
Feelings of self confidence based on your looks or
appearance are purely in your head. I’m not saying it’s
imaginary, I’m saying that your confidence really stems
from how you perceive yourself. How you think about
yourself. If you can change your way of thinking you
can change your level of confidence in yourself. Even
the “stars” have to be airbrushed in magazine photo
spreads to look as good as they do. Have you ever seen
some Hollywood actresses without their makeup? If you
have then you would know what I’m talking about.
Appearance also has other factors that lie beyond
genetics, what you wear from your head to your toe,
and how you style your hair are most often the first
things that other people notice about another person’s
appearance.
To gain self confidence, or improve your self
confidence with your appearance, you will need to let
go of self doubt. Stop thinking I’m not thin enough, or
I’m too fat or I’m not handsome or pretty enough. If
you’re getting negative feedback or comments about
your looks from other people simply stop listening to
them. I mean it. Don’t base your life on what others
think about you. be proud of who you are. You are
beautiful. Plastic surgery may seem tempting
(If you can afford it) to correct what you perceive as
flaws in your appearance but that will only change the
surface. It won’t change the way you essentially feel
about yourself. Instead of being someone with low
self esteem you will be someone with low self esteem,
high cheekbones and a great nose job. A great physique
can never replace confidence and self-esteem. It also
doesn’t guarantee you will be loved.
Depending upon how deep your feelings of self-doubt
are, it may take a while for you to gain your desired
self confidence. Don’t you dare give up. Be persistent,
be steadfast. Concentrate on your positive facets and
ignore those facets that you view as negative, or even
better, try to reverse your “negative” attributes into
positive ones.
Perhaps you believe your curly hair is a total mess, and
it sucks to have curly hair and not straight smooth locks,
but do you have any idea how many people pay for
expensive perms just so they can have curly hair? Don’t
allow your negative feelings to become pervasive or
all-consuming.
You’ve got to come to terms with your own appearance.
Accept yourself for who you are. Walk with your head
held high in confidence. Stop the whining and know for
a fact that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. What
I may find beautiful another person may not. Quit the
“I’m too fat or I’m too skinny or I’m too dark self bashing.
I know people that are fat and they are very happy and
I know people that are thin and very unhappy. Its all
about your own perceptions. You don’t have to be 108
pounds to be attractive! Someone will like your
appearance no matter what you weigh. Someone will
love you for who you are. and find you the most beautiful
person in their eyes. No matter what perceived flaws you
may think you have.
Like attracts like. You have to be able to love and accept
yourself if you want to attract a person into your life who
will truly love and accept you. When you send out
vibrations of confidence, love and acceptance, you will
attract similar people into your life. Remember that people
see you the way you see yourself. As an example, if you
see yourself as sexy, attractive and desirable, people will
see you as such. You are as attractive as you think
you are.
Like I said before, focus on your positive aspects. If
someone likes you they will see the positive aspects you
possess and not the negative. Make yourself worthy of
being loved by learning to love yourself first. It is a known
fact that you can’t give to others what you don’t already
possess.
This may sound cliché but it really is true. True beauty
lies within.
Be sure to give yourself a hug today.
