I’m sure that you know some people who seem to
love making your life miserable. They may even
dominate or control you to a certain extent. As
you rub elbows daily with such people at home
and in the streets, you are constantly deciding
how to act appropriately towards them. These
split-second decisions are being made by almost
everyone. We don’t want to “antagonize†difficult
people and so we are always wary of our actions.
Exasperating people are all around us. They are
not really villains, they just seem to give others
“a pain in the neck.” Most of us have to deal with
them everyday, without ever really knowing who
they are, why they are so difficult, or how to deal
with them most effectively. Finding answers to
these questions equip us with “tools†that can help
us in dealing with them, and eventually help them.
You find them far and wide. They could be your
boss, coworkers, business partner, landlord, or
even your own spouse, children, siblings, in laws
or parents. Anyone can be a hard to please person
to someone else.
You may not admit it, but at one time or another,
all of us have been (or seemed to be) difficult
people to other people. Who knows, you may be
seeking a remedy for difficult individuals you know
without being aware that you’re a difficult person
yourself.
It is necessary to discern if you are in a situation
with a obstinate person or if you yourself are
beginning to be one. The first solution to any
problem is recognizing that the problem exist in
the first place. There is an often-cited tale of this
guy who held on tightly to a tree stem in the dead
of the night, deep in the forest, thinking he was
hanging on a cliff. When the sun finally came up,
he found the ground below him was a mere foot
away from his feet. Had he known his real
situation, he wouldn’t have had to dangle there
all night.
In the majority of cases, difficult people do not
realize they are difficult. They don’t see that
they are expecting too much from other people.
They believe their comportment is just normal.
In the same way, some of their victims may not
see that they are dealing with obstinate people.
The sooner the problem is discovered, the
smoother the sailing will be.
It’s critical that we accept the fact that fending
off difficult people does not solve the problem in
question. As mentioned before, these people are
everywhere. There is no privacy they cannot
breach. You might as well leave the planet and
settle on Mars to get rid of them entirely.
If you like the sea, you have to get used to its
whims. The key is not to stay out of it but to
learn to sail smoothly through all kinds of
obstacle that are put in one’s way.
Likewise, it is learning how to deal with a
difficult person that allows you smooth
sailing in the midst of a storm. Once you
master this, hard to please people will start
liking you. There are great benefits in
disarming a difficult person. Remember
The Little Prince?
